Can’t Turn Off Intrusive Memories? Listen to This

Bart Leger (00:18.254)
Ever find yourself haunted by intrusive memories and images from the job that keep popping up when you're just driving down the road or trying to go to sleep? How do you stop it? Instead of not thinking about it or, or yet self -medicating, try this. Stay tuned as I share what you can do to turn off those intrusive memories and reclaim your peace of mind.

Show Intro

Bart Leger (00:54.733)
Welcome back. This is episode 11. And in this episode, we're talking about those graphic images and memories from years of dealing with others as well as our own traumas that keep popping up when we least expect it. A couple of weeks ago, I was talking with a retired first responder and he mentioned that the big thing that was giving him the most trouble was the memories of some tough calls that kept popping into his mind.

especially when he was trying to go to sleep. He went on to talk about one specific call from a few years ago. It was a house fire with a child fatality. The mom made it, but couldn't get to her baby on the other end of the house. He said, I remember you were with me on that call. I did remember all we found were charred remains. He said, that's the stuff in my head that haunts me.

Bart Leger (01:55.308)
Bart Leger (02:00.141)
Have you ever said, I can't get that incident out of my head? It's the face that you keep seeing, the nightmare that disrupts your sleep, the baby you couldn't save, the continual thoughts of what you could have done differently. All these are all examples of intrusive memories. But know this, they're normal reactions to an abnormal event. They're part of the human defense mechanism. These images are often vivid and intense and

They can take the form of flashbacks, sensory disturbances, nightmares, or haunting thoughts. Regardless of how they show up, they cause us to relive the critical incident we experienced. Intrusive thoughts and images aren't uncommon. Many, if not all, first responders and medical professionals, especially those who work the ER, will experience them at some point in their careers.

So we're focusing on those tough moments that stick with you, the graphic images and the intrusive memories that can come from the challenging and often critical situations you face daily, because the work you do isn't easy. Every day you're out there making a difference, often witnessing events that most people never see in their lifetimes. It's normal for these intense experiences to linger in your mind.

You're not alone in this because I have my own cases that pop into my head when I'm trying to get some sleep sometime. But what have you been trying to do to stop these haunting images and memories that haven't worked or might even be harmful? Maybe you're pushing away the thoughts, trying to force yourself not to think about the intrusive memories that can actually make them come back stronger and more often. Or what about self -medicating?

Things like using alcohol or drugs or other substances to numb the pain might give you temporary relief, but can lead to addiction and even more serious mental and physical health issues. Or you're avoiding triggers. You're steering clear of certain situations, people or places that remind you of the trauma. They might help in the short term, but it can make you more anxious and limit your life.

Bart Leger (04:25.482)
There are some, and I've even done this in the past, overworking. That is, throwing yourself into your job to keep your mind off things that can lead to burnout and leave you feeling even more exhausted, which can lead to isolating yourself. That's withdrawing from friends, family, and social activities to avoid dealing with the memories. And this can make you feel lonely and depressed. And some...

will react with anger. Getting angry or aggressive to control your surroundings and prevent triggers can harm your relationships and add even more stress to your life. And then there's denying the problem. Pretending the memories don't affect you or thinking you can handle it all by yourself can stop you from getting the help that you need and making the problem last even longer.

Bart Leger (05:30.856)
So we can try stuffing them down, but intrusive memories can generate physiological and emotional responses almost as intense as when we first experienced them. I liken it to trying to sit on a beach ball in the pool. You can keep a submerged for a while, but the moment your attention's averted, that beach ball just pops right back up. And in this episode, we'll explore some...

practical ways to manage these persistent images and thoughts. My goal is to equip you with tools that not only help you cope, but also strengthen your mental resilience. So let's get started and take a step forward in taking care of your mind as diligently as you take care of your body. In the life of a first responder or frontline professional, there are all kinds of scenarios that can lead to persistent intrusive images.

You're a firefighter responding to a major car crash on a busy highway. The scene is chaotic with multiple injuries, maybe even lives lost. The bodily injuries are quite severe. One of the occupants who was DOA looked so much like your little girl. It doesn't matter how long you've been doing the job, the graphic nature of the injuries and especially the personal connection can imprint on the mind, leading to recurring visual memories that are

hard to shake off. Or maybe you're a paramedic who arrives at the scene of a brutal crime. You might be providing immediate care in an environment where the aftermath of violence is still very visible. Later, the sights and sounds that you experienced can come back to your mind as intrusive images popping into your mind without warning.

Bart Leger (07:26.439)
The one that sticks most in my mind is from a call where the baby daddy was left to babysit an infant child. The child wouldn't stop crying and in anger and frustration, slung the baby against the wall. The image of that innocent child lying there with severe head trauma still shows up in my head every now and then. These situations, they're difficult and they demand a lot from you, not just physically, but also mentally and emotionally.

Having these kinds of intense graphic experiences can leave behind vivid memories that replay in our mind over and over. You might find that these images sneak up on you during quiet moments, maybe when you're trying to unwind after a shift or when you're just about to fall asleep. It's almost like your brain, which was in high gear, suddenly...

doesn't know how to slow down and these memories can replay without your permission. These unexpected reminders aren't just unsettling. They can really disrupt your life and they might make it tough to get a good night's sleep, which we all know how important sleep is. Poor sleep can lead to feeling irritable or unable to concentrate, which isn't just annoying.

Bart Leger (08:51.463)
These unexpected reminders aren't just unsettling, they can really disrupt your life. They might make it tough to get a good night's sleep, which we all know how important sleep is. Poor sleep can lead to feeling irritable or unable to concentrate, which isn't just annoying. It could affect your work performance and your personal relationships. Mentally, these images can take a toll also. They can lead to feelings of anxiety or depression, make you feel on edge.

or leave you feeling drained. This is tough because you're dealing with these intense memories while trying to maintain your professionalism and your quality of care. So understanding that these images and memories can appear suddenly and recognizing the impact they have can be the first step in managing them. It's about knowing what you're dealing with so you can find the right strategies to take control and

keep these memories from controlling your life. And if you'll allow me for a minute, I want to dive into the psychological nuts and bolts of why these intense graphic images and memories tend to stick around in our minds. It's all about how our brains respond to trauma and stress. When you're experiencing something traumatic, like a particularly tough call or a distressing scene, your brain...

goes into overdrive. It's wired to protect you so it amps up your alertness. This reaction is part of what we call the fight or flight response. But here's the kicker. While this response is meant to keep you safe in the moment or help you do your job, it can leave a lasting impression.

Bart Leger (10:43.111)
What your brain does is it tags these intense experiences as significant and attaches your emotional response to them. So as a result, they can come back to haunt you as vivid intrusive images. Now, when these images replay over and over, it can be a sign of PTSD or post -traumatic stress disorder.

or other stress -related conditions. Now, I'm not saying it is in your case, but it could be. Frontline professionals are particularly at risk due to the high stress nature of their jobs. Symptoms of PTSD can include nightmares, flashbacks of the trauma, intense distress at the reminders of the event, and feeling on edge or being easily startled.

You might also find yourself avoiding places or situations that remind you of the traumatic event.

Bart Leger (11:50.823)
Apart from PTSD, this constant state of high alert can lead to other issues like anxiety and depression. Imagine your brain constantly thinking it needs to protect you, never really shutting down. That can be super exhausting, not just physically, but mentally as well. Understand that these symptoms are common reactions to uncommon situations. Let me say that again.

Understand that these symptoms that you're experiencing are common reactions to uncommon situations. Situations that many of you deal with every day. We call these critical incidents. By understanding the psychological backdrop to these experiences, we can start to take steps toward managing their impact more effectively. It's not just about toughing it out. It's about understanding your mind and

giving it the support it needs to heal and regain balance.

Now that we understand a bit more about why these intrusive images stick around, let's talk about some practical, actionable strategies you can use to manage them. These are tools you can start using today, and they can help you regain control of your mind when these unwelcome thoughts pop up. First, try grounding techniques. These are super simple ways to help pull your mind back to the present moment.

One example is the 5 -4 -3 -2 -1 method. Here's how it works. When you feel haunted by an image or anxious moment, stop for a moment and name five things you can see around you, four things you can touch, three things you can hear.

Bart Leger (13:46.183)
two things you can smell and one thing you can taste. Now this exercise helps distract your brain from the intrusive thoughts and brings your focus back to your current surroundings.

Bart Leger (14:02.375)
You can literally do this anytime, even during a call. It's a form of situational awareness. And then schedule your worry times. This might sound a bit odd, but it's about giving yourself permission to think about these images or worries at a specific time of the day for a set amount of time. But a word of caution here, I advise you to be careful with this one.

If recalling these memories have the potential to arouse an extreme response, don't try this unless you're with a professional who has a skill set to talk you through it. What you would do is choose a 15 to 30 minute period during your day when you're alone and can reflect safely. During this time, allow yourself to think about these images or events and process them. These images,

often come back up along with the same sensations because we haven't thoroughly worked our way through them or maybe still have wrong thoughts or assessments connected with them. When the time is up, move on to other activities. What this technique can do is help reduce the unpredictability of the thoughts as your brain begins to understand that there's a specific time to process them. 

Bart Leger (16:47.745)
And then there's professional therapy options. There's absolutely no shame in seeking help. And sometimes talking to a professional is the best course of action. I used to tell every class of Academy cadets, we expect you to go to your doctor and get a physical every year so you can stay healthy. I encourage you to find a therapist who works with first responders and get a checkup from the neck up every year. If nothing else, just

Unload everything that frustrates you. At least you'll get it out. Therapists, especially those who specialize in PTSD and trauma, can offer tailored techniques and therapies such as cognitive behavioral therapy, CBT, or eye movement desensitization and reprocessing, commonly referred to as EMDR. These have proven very effective in managing trauma.

They provide a safe space to explore these memories and work through them systematically.

Bart Leger (17:54.304)
Then mindfulness and meditation are also effective for managing stress and intrusive thoughts. Simple meditation or mindfulness exercises can involve focusing on your breath, practicing guided imagery, or even using apps that are designed to help you with meditation. The key is consistency. Even a few minutes each day can help make a significant difference in how you handle your stress response. The next thing you can try...

The next thing you can try has shown promise in research studies. It's called the competing task technique. If you ever find yourself struggling with intrusive memories and images that just won't let up, here's a straightforward technique you can try out for yourself. Pinpoint the intrusive image. When an intrusive image pops up, take a moment to really identify it. Acknowledge what it is and how it makes you feel. And then,

Start a competing task. Right after the image comes to mind, jump into a task that requires visual and spatial skills. A great go -to is playing something like Tetris on your phone or another visual spatial game that you enjoy. Shoot for about 10 minutes of game time and then assess the change. After playing, what are you thinking about? Has the image or memory become

Bart Leger (19:37.502)
less vivid or less distressing. It's a way to check if the technique is working for you. Then make it a habit. Use this technique whenever these tough images pop up, especially during times when they seem to bother you the most, like before bed. But personalize your approach. Feel free to switch up the games or the activities. Anything that challenges your spatial and visual skills can work so long.

as you're looking for something that you find engaging and you keep it handy for these tough times. So give this method a shot. It's a practical tool you can use anytime those intrusive images or those thoughts creep in and it can help you regain control and ease your mind.

Bart Leger (20:46.685)
By incorporating these strategies into your routine, you can start to regain control over intrusive thoughts and the stress that they bring. Each of these methods offers a way to cope and heal, and combining them can be particularly effective. Remember, taking care of your mental health is just as important as handling the emergencies you face every single day. As we wrap up this episode, let's quickly recap what we've covered so far.

We talked about why some of these graphic images and memories stick with us. This is a normal part of how our brains process the intense situations we face. Remember, re -experiencing memories isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign of your brain doing its job, trying to make sense of these experiences. Then we listed some practical steps to manage these intrusive thoughts from grounding techniques to scheduled worry times, the importance of seeking help,

and engaging in a competing task when these memories negatively impact our daily lives.

Bart Leger (21:54.652)
I want each of you to know you play a vital role in our society. Taking care of your mental health is just as important as taking care of your physical health. It ensures that you can continue doing this incredibly important work without burning out. You're not alone in this journey and there's strength in seeking support.

Bart Leger (22:20.539)
Thanks so much for joining me today for another episode of Surviving Your Shift. How about joining our community? Get weekly tips and strategies for avoiding burnout, stop tossing and turning in your bed every night, losing valuable sleep, and stop feeling like a wrung out sponge after spending all day at work dealing with other people's problems. Join other resilient frontline professionals by going to

survivingyourshift.com and scroll down to grab a lifeline. I'll even send you a free copy of my book, Understanding PTSD, Its History, Causes, Symptoms, and Treatments. PTSD is scary, but doing nothing is even scarier.

Bart Leger (23:12.986)
If you like the show, please follow and leave an honest review. Your insights help us grow and create a community that supports one another.

Bart Leger (23:28.442)
I never saw the signs. They seemed to be doing okay. Maybe a bit quieter on rough days, but nothing that screamed. Help!

Bart Leger (23:41.978)
I never saw the signs. They seemed to be doing okay, maybe a bit quieter on rough days, but nothing that screamed help. I never thought they would have taken their own life. If only I had known the pain they were hiding, maybe I could have done something to help. Sound familiar? Stick around. In the next episode, we'll be talking about suicide. Suicide is preventable.

I'll see you on that episode. Till next time, let's learn how to thrive, not just survive.